One Year of One Page RPGs: Volume 3

HERE’S THE DEAL: I write one tabletop or live roleplaying game a month. It will be no bigger than one side of A4 paper (that’s one side of letter paper, for you American types) and I will do all the art, layout and design myself in pen.

My games are, in general: short, punchy, well-written and exciting. Over the last six years of writing I’ve become more serious and less silly, so expect to see a mix of tones ranging from introspective and heart-breaking to daft and explosive. I’ll always strive to innovate and offer something original or surprising in each game.

BE PREPARED: Boy scouts struggle to survive overnight as an ancient terror hunts from the dark woods at the centre of the camp. Contains a buddy system-focused hit point mechanic!

Back page: Gruesome minions and omens delivered by the terror.

BEAUTIFUL SPACE PIRATES (In: The Galaxy’s Most Dangerous Funeral!): You’re a dashing young scoundrel and it’s up to you and your crew to secure your inheritance by fulfilling some of the most outlandish requirements ever outlined in a pirate’s will.

Back page: Five further adventures featuring the Beautiful Space Pirates.

DUNGEONSCRAWL: The palace of the Briar Prince invades the world you know when the stars are right. Generate the shifting corridors as a group and play through to seize your heart’s desire with a simple D20 system.

Back page: Tiger Woods’ Tiger Woods, a game where you must escape a mad golf theme park.

GOAT CRASHERS: You’re a cheeky little goat and you want to party. Only problem is, humans keep trying to kick you out! Are you going to stand for that?

Back page: Ghost Crashers, which is the same thing, but about ghosts rather than goats.

KOBOLD ENDEAVOUR: You’re a scaly dragonling whelp on a mission for the MIGHTY DRAGON KING: to pocket as much stuff as possible from a rival dragon’s horde before you get killed. Your only skills lie in elaborate distractions.

Back page: 50 Unusual Requests from the MIGHTY DRAGON KING.

REVERSE BEASTMASTER: Written in collaboration with Nate Crawley, this madcap assault on the senses sees you taking orders from cruel animals with poor impulse control and no concept of forward planning.

Back page: LOYER GAM, a grotesque game where you must “do law” until a judge “stops you.”

SAD VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND: A surprisingly grown-up, almost diceless game where you play mortals and vampires trying to find love in a damned world.

Back page: THREE GOBLINS IN A TRENCHCOAT, a game you play by stacking dice, to counteract the seriousness of the front page.

SEANS BEAN STAR IN: A VERY NORTHERN CHRISTMAS: Inscrutable high-concept farce where you play five Seans Bean each and must attempt to film a Netflix holiday special without all of you dying.

Back page: FORCE PATROLLERS, which uses the same rules to simulate an underfunded Super Sentai show.

SEXY BATTLE WIZARDS: You have three stats: SEXY, BATTLE and WIZARD. You live in a flying castle. You are wanted in several countries for collateral damage caused whilst trying to save the world.

Back page: SEXY BATTLE MAGIC ITEMS including the Party Bomb, Instant Horse and Decanter of Endless Bees.

THE WITCH HOUSE: You are transformed into a bestial shape by a hideous witch and must escape before what little left of your humanity is washed away with invasive magic.

Back page: SERVANTS OF DARKNESS, where you have to orchestrate a national-level cult and its insidious business.

THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOUR: Play pilgrims acting through the trials of the star gods who brought life to this planet millennia ago; then, play the luckless, terrified humans who crash-landed a colony ship into it and would be remembered as star gods in the distant future.

Back page: Several ideas for games that rhyme with or sound similar to the original title.

WAKE: You’re in a coma; you awaken in an unreal stitched-together hospital ward where hungry phantoms prowl the depths. Are you prepared to kill your way out?

Back page: An extended map of the Ward.

WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER HOLIDAYS: Slapstick, low-consequence adventures in the vein of classic British comics; you play a rookie witch and her vaguely magical friends desperately trying to have fun in a boring seaside town.

Back page: WHAT I DID ON MY FINAL ADVENTURING EXAM, which is broadly similar but you play students of St Evocatia’s School for Adventurous Girls, and your final exam is probably some sort of dungeon-crawl.